The correspondence with my acquaintance friend helped straighten out a few things in my mind in ways only words put on paper, rather than mulled over and over in a muddled mind, can.
My response to his benevolent reply:
Thanks for the inspirational link. I really liked reading Steps to Inner Peace.
My pattern of life for the last few months has been thus - alternating states of stability and, to put naively, instability. Stability arises as my mind delves on the spiritual inspirations I have been privileged to be exposed to thus far (it started with a book on Buddhism last year). Instability arises in all other situations. Usually these moments of stability dont last very long and I am back into the other phase. Daily work, chores, music, sports, social interactions play their distracting roles, but invariably I come back to the same states of mind of confusion and, occasionally, insecurity, lack of confidence and anger at causes I grapple with to ascribe reasons for my current state. Over time, this swinging of the mental pendulum between extremes has definitely lessened in both amplitude and frequency but oscillate it does.
There are a few unknowns and uncertainties in my life at this point, none of which are close to being resolved anytime soon, none whose outcome is under my control. These provide the fodder for my mental swings. I am trying to be patient, with these issues as well as with developing the spiritual maturity that I am convinced is required to walk calmly through these and any more issues that life throws up. I wish I would get constant guidance in the path to follow to developing this spiritual maturity.
Even the staunchest of non-Believers, having had the experience myself, depend on a code book of beliefs to guide them in action and inaction. How wonderful would it be if I could simply abandon doubt and immerse myself fully into a single system of beliefs and follow to the T its teachings?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment