Looking forward to India

The hope and excitement and escape that change brings. Hope is rampant. Excitement equally so. Escape is by far, though, the main reason. Escape from status quo, escape from the loneliness of Austin, escape from the unrequited life that is Corporate USA.

I hope to find a new job that takes me closer to the masses in a manner only direct work can. It should involve technology, broadly speaking. I dont even require there to be any connection to computers, though I would like to further my education in the objective realm of abstract science than the subjective and very real complexity of human emotions. The new job should take me to meet people for whom basic needs of sustained and good food, health and shelter are not met. These are the people who want help only as far as to help themselves pick up and walk and then run the rat race. I am not talking of the utterly poor, homeless people - their plight freezes me into a state of inaction overwhelmed by despair and powerlessness. Since I would like to do something, I want to be active. Hopefully someone stronger than me can take the cause of the homeless and do their part.

I hope to meet a girl and settle down in life, and staying in India affords more possibilities of this happening. A long list of prerequisites abound in my mind, and there's no way I am going to be able to explore a relationship discovered through one of these matrimony websites. There is too much expectation, time pressure, and upfront bias in the medium, and a few months into the process, a general sense of despondent stereotyping happens leading only to further disappointments.

I hope to develop and refine my quest for the Ultimate Truth. I hope to meet a guru who can guide my life, in whom I can find the confidence and trust to allay my doubts, in whom I can place my complete surrender without fear of judgement. There's also this small hope that my progress in the spiritual path is quick enough that I see the stated light of renunciation and quash other hopes and thence not feel the loneliness of missing life companionship.

I hope to take care of my parents in their old age and provide solace and comfort before they even voice the need. I hope to find in myself at the time of reckoning the strength they have so strongly displayed in their lives so far, the strength to serve despite the suboptimal control my father has over his emotions, the strength to be weak and judged but yet love and serve my ageing, wise, humble, incredibly loving mother.